Saturday, April 16, 2011

Appeal to Mourinho

Dear Jose Mourinho,
Seeing as it's currently half-time, I hope that you're giving the team a good talking to because, honestly, they need to get their ass in gear if they're going to get through the next 17 days/3 games. Here's wot you need to do:
First, please explain to our non-existent defence that, contrary to popular belief, Casillas is not superman and he cannot constantly outrun a speeding ball (especially one kicked by a certain tricksy little Argentinian).
Second, take Kheidra out, he's absolutely useless.
Third, explain to the offense (i.e. Cristiano) that in order to actually win a game, they need to complete their passes and actually score. I'm aware that Captain Caveman is formidable and kind of scary, but once you get past his flying abilities, it'll all be good...just don't give up on the damn ball halfway down the pitch.

That is all for now. I'll talk more after the game is over.

Sincerely,
Yazya
(i.e. She who is going to develop high blood pressure, and possibly resort to drowning her stress in drugs and alcohol)