Friday, April 1, 2011

Fun with facetiousness!

First of all, let me say that I'm aware that I'm the kind of person that is amused easily (read: VERY easily), but I also like to think that this is brought about by the fact that I think it's the little things in life that we should appreciate. Which is why, for the most part, I enjoy silly humour when I come across it. And wot better day is there in the year for silly humour then April 1st, I ask?
          None! I hear you respond (I have Verizon Fios...not only is it super fast, it also enables you to hear people's thoughts through the fiber optics).
          So when I come across things like today's edition of the Washington Square News (which I usually only pick up for the Sudoku puzzle/if Harry Potter references are ever made (NYU has a Quidditch team, so that happens occasionally) if at all), I let go of any pretension/desire for truth that the Journalism major in me strives for and allow myself to simply enjoy the articles for wot they are: a lighthearted, relatively on point, attempt for the staff to just have some fun and not take themselves seriously for once and write some crazy ass shit just for the sake of being able to do so. I mean, I bet that 90% of journalists out there wish every once in a while that they could write complete, unverifiable nonsense (with a couple of low, but tasteful, blows to the things they disagree with but can't take sides on for fear of being labeled biased) to lessen the stress of facts and double checking and sources and not loose their credibility. Journalists like having fun too guys, true story. It's why things like The Onion exist...for sarcastic, skewed, the-world-is-already-fucked-up-so-why-don't-we-get-some-people-to-laugh fun.
          My favourite frontpage article is this one, only's Friday and therefore it seems so much more poignant for some reason.


NYU has decided to make commencement a lot more fun, fun, fun, fun this year.
In a controversial move, NYU President John Sexton announced that he will be replacing Bill Clinton as the 2011 commencement speaker with pop sensation Rebecca Black. The ceremony will also be moved from Yankee Stadium to T.G.I. Friday's.
"Rebecca Black is an exemplary young woman and personifies the cosmopolitan ideal that we pride in our students," Sexton said. "She is a visionary, a scholar and a citizen of the world."
When asked about the change in venue, Sexton said, "I just love those jalapeño poppers!"
Rebecca Black could not be reached for comment. According to her publicist, she was too busy deciding what seat to take.
According to NYU spokesperson John Beckman, open chairs have been placed strategically all over the restaurant so Black has ample seats to choose from. When asked what to expect from Black's address, Beckman struggled to give a definite answer.

"Black, uh ... well I think her speech will be, uh ... Her youth gives her an interesting, uh ... Fuck it, I want Bill Clinton back," he said.
Black will be driven to the restaurant in a convertible while singing the national anthem. The other 2011 degree recipients, including Jamie Lynn Spears, Willow Smith and Lily from "Modern Family," will ride along with her.
"I guess we could let Clinton drive the car," Sexton said. "I'm not sure he raps, though."
Most students are outraged over the drastic change of the commencement ceremony's location and speaker.
"What the actual fuck," CAS freshman Jack Copyhat said.
"She hasn't even graduated middle school yet," CAS senior Hillary Baldwin said. "How on earth do they think it is okay to give her an honorary degree? Maybe I'll skip commencement and sing about how much debt I'm in instead."
Although Black reportedly demanded the ceremony be held on a Friday, Sexton decided to have commencement on Saturday evening.
"It's half-priced appetizers night," Sexton said. "Free spinach dip for everyone!"
I feel like he just needs a hug, or was deprived of comedy as a child...could it be some traumatic childhood April Fool's prank experience? Is this why he is so adamant that a clearly-not-to-be-taken-seriously article which is part of a whole slew of not-to-be-taken-seriously articles on a day that is historically known to be filled with things you should probably not believe is lame, and why he only cares for the real news? It's okay Gary, in the immortal words of Asher Roth: "nothing wrong with some fun/even if we did get a little bit too drunk." I don't think they actually expected people to believe that Rebecca Black is the new commencement speaker, or that Coles is going to be replaced with a Quidditch stadium, no one is that gullible.
So try and let go a little. It's Friday.